Shorties 40: Weber Cooks Rice-a-Roni

Don’t get your heart burned in those sunken, glazed, eyes. Felicia and Bob return for another appetizing suggestion from Chef Steven Reed. A non-conventional Thanksgiving side-dish that you might want to consider. This week we discuss, “Weber Cooks Rice-a-Roni”. Cheap eats for college students. The cheapest thing ever to come out of San Francisco…with a Utah twist. Steven Reed brings the Utah passion to your microwave. Easy on the lotion and Keep on Doccin’

Weber Cooks Rice-a-Roni.

The only website you need.

Song origin.

Episode 108: The Two Escobars

Let’s go down, Doccalo. Down to Colomba during a time where soccer and notorious drug kingpins excelled in pride and influence. Two different Escobars with a similar background on two different personality paths. Andres Escobar would become a rare talent on the soccer field and a national treasure. Pablo Escobar would become a patron saint of rappers and a national treasure in his own right. Drew and Bob knock down another sports doc with one of the more well regarded flicks in the ESPN film oeuvre. We rap about “The Two Escobars” by Jeff and Michael Zimbalist and it doesn’t pull many punches. A fascinating and dangerous time told through the lives of two notorious Colombians told from the Colombian perspective. We’re still working on getting a Gucci Mane interview. Maybe this movie could have used talking heads of twenty plus rappers tearing up while talking about Pablo Escobar. Also there’s a lot of soccer. Good soccer. Did Andres sit on Pablos knee in a Colombian “Prison”? Such rumors are rude and we won’t support them. Who’s doing the cocaine now? Seriously. We want to know. Keep on GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!

Here’s the trailer.

Hindsight.

Ouch.

Reading this is required for entry into the Cartel.

Shorties 39: Weber Cooks Chili Cheese Nachos

This month leading to Thanksgiving all Shorties are dedicated to the culinary arts. One specific culinary master in particular. At a particular university in a specific classroom in Ogden, Utah. A chef by the name of Steven Reed made 4 short “How to” videos on “can to microwave” cooking that will burrow into your heart. Hot tips on steamy Thanksgiving ideas all month long as we also debut the newest Documenteer, Felicia. This week Felicia and Bob discuss the first in the “Weber Cooks” viral series, “Weber Cooks Chili Cheese Nachos”. Turn the heat on high and Keep on Doccin’

Weber Cooks Chili Cheese Nachos.

The place.

Dolly’s “Rocky Top”.

Episode 107: Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages

It’s been a long and unsettling Creeptober October and as we roll into the week of Halloween we go into the witchy side of things. To do that we will go back, Marty. Back to 1922 Sweden with a film that contests the claim that “Nanook of the North” is the first documentary. Angela and Bob spook out with the entertaining silent historical film by Benjamin Christensen “Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages”. A glorious historical telling of the history of Scandinavian perceptions of witchcraft and the persecution of those condemned as witches. Funny, scary, and actually quite impressive. Best of all YOU GET TO READ WHILE WATCHING IT! FUCK YEAH!!!! This film is free (as it should be) and all over YouTube. A variety of links below. The Rats & People Motion Picture Orchestra from the Swedish Film Institute version of Häxan is the bed music for much of this episode. We hope you enjoyed Creeptober. May every house in your neighborhood have full size Peanut Butter Twix and bags of Haribo gummy candy. May every Halloween party be flooded with sexy Werner Herzog costumes. Try not to shit your pants if you can help it. Keep on Doccin’

The version we discussed.

The Burroughs/Jazz version

Original version.

The medieval book that inspired the film and many years of mass murder by the church. You can download the PDF for free.

Shorties 38: Ghislaine Maxwell’s Talk at TEDx Charlotte

Ok, creeps. Jonni and Bob close out their block of Creeptober October Shorties with one that stars a real creep. Bob kind of tricked Jonni with this one. Jonni didn’t pick up on the name, and this Shorties ep started off being about one awful thing, but in reality it was truly about another fucked up thing. Environmental Disaster + Elite Sex Trafficking Conspiracy = one ranty ass episode. We watched an unbelievably boring TEDtalk by the notorious Ghislaine Maxwell that we are calling “Ghislaine Maxwell’s Talk at TEDx Charlotte” and if that name doesn’t ring a bell then put it into a search engine and start reading about some awful shit. We already know the truth about Jeffrey Epstein’s so-called “suicide” and that evidence can be found on our 100th episode. What is the truth about Ghislaine Maxwell doing a TEDtalk years after she was named an accomplice in victim testimony at Jeffrey Epstein’s rape trial? TEDtalks have featured too many privileged shitholes pushing an illusion of genius and TED hosting a sex trafficker of underage girls is going way too far for something so boring that pretends it’s great. Fucking Morgan Spurlock has done a TEDtalk if that tells you anything. It’s time to rise up and #CANCELTEDTALKS ! Life will be more bearable without them. It will stop what Bob did to Jonni in this episode by halting people recommending TEDtalks to you. If anything, this particular TEDtalk probably hurts effective climate change solutions from taking hold more than it helps. That alone is worth your time! Enjoy this plus-sized “Shorties” episode if it’s possible. Keep on cancelling TEDtalks.

Here it is and it’s very very boring.

This guy was closely associated with Epstein and is probably a child rapist and also did a TEDtalk.

More evidence of getting rid of TEDtalks, these outweigh any good TEDtalk

Episode 106: The Mothman of Point Pleasant

BOO DAMMIT BOO! Thanks for sticking it out through Creeptober October and to make it up to you we won’t discuss horse fucking too much this week. We actually get a little more “Halloweeny” because we are hitting up an infamous cryptid from the valleys of western West Virginia. Ginger and Bob hit up Seth Breedlove’s 2017 documentary “The Mothman of Point Pleasant”. Expect a bigger focus on the paranormal in documentary form in the near future. We got no issue with the Mothman. We hope he takes us up in his lonely arms(?) and flies us towards a building full of dangerous chemicals. We can make out when we get there. Maybe put on some jazz…. Roll up a hog’s leg…. Run a warm bath…. and talk all night about the five dicked pig of Paducah.

You can find this on Prime or buy it to support indy directors. Keep on making love to the paranormal.

Here’s the trailer.

Mothman Festival!!!!! 

Here’s the trailer to the very average “Mothman Prophecies” 

Mothman has a wiki page. That’s how you know he’s real.

Shorties 37: Fresno Nightcrawler

Creep out! We’re going on a creepy crawl, but quite frankly, we don’t think this creature is creepy at all! In fact we are impressed with it’s confidence and “take charge” attitude. You can tell by the way they walk that you probably can’t even handle the (what the kids call) “fierceness” that this modern day cryptid brings to these California streets. Jonni and Bob happily discuss the hottest cryptid of the 21st Century. The one and only “Fresno Nightcrawler”. The Fresno Nightcrawler is the feminist icon this world doesn’t deserve. Let Bob and Jonni convince you of this magic and why it deserves your creepy love. Creepy in the best way! There are many versions of this CCTV clip, we particularly like the Vanessa Carlton version. We actually couldn’t find the link that we also included in the discussion, but any CCTV Fresno Nightcrawler footage would do. I’d walk a thousand miles just to be with Fresno Nightcrawler tonight.

Fresno Nightcrawler, Vanessa Carlton edition.

Oh shit, this one has Tiny Tim on it.

GOAT.

Episode 105: Zoo

WARNING: THIS EPISODE IS FUCKING GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE HEARD BY ANYONE

Hey there, Doccalo. Bob hinted that he might go hard for Creeptober, but we didn’t think he meant “horse erection” hard. Akil and Bob watched the 2007 documentary “Zoo” by Robinson Devor, and Akil was very close to throwing all the recording equipment into the nearest body of water. “Zoo” is about a guy (Mr. Hands. He picked that nickname himself) who got fucked by a horse and died, and the horsefucker fallout that came after. So yeah…this episode is probably not for decent human beings who want their ears to remain unsullied by bestiality breakdowns. Akil, who usually is so good at eating the documentary version of shit, was truly tested with this one. But what Akil didn’t like and what more he wanted from this documentary may surprise you. Not that you should hit play and find out or anything. Listening to this episode might make you a worse person. You can find this on YouTube, which should inform you that nothing graphic is shown in the film. The descriptions the hosts make in the show are probably worse, really. But again…DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE! YOU WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE THEM! JUST GO LISTEN TO THE “MARCH OF THE PENGUINS” EPISODE OR SOMETHING! That story about the mini horse was pretty fucking wild though. That account really sticks to the ribs. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

Here’s the entire film….you sick fuck. 

I swear that this link WILL NOT take you to the MR. HANDS video.

This link will also NOT take you to the MR. HANDS video.

Free college for nasty fucks.

Shorties 36: My Dead Great Grandma’s Coffin in My Own Backyard

It’s time to Creeptober (puts on wraparound sunglasses) SHORTIES EDITION! Jonni steps up for his very first batch of “Shorties” to get his face creeped off. This week we meet a very interesting YouTuber by the name of DJ Deaf Joey and Joey is deaf in case you didn’t pick up on that by his moniker. This video is all visual and oh what a visual it is! It’s called “My Dead Great Grandmother’s Coffin in My Own Backyard” and DJ Deaf Joey has exactly what that title says in his backyard. She passed away in 1945. What would you do if you had a relative in your backyard that has been dead for over 70 years? Open the coffin, of course! DJ Deaf Joey was born 8 years after his great grandmother died, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her. In fact…he can prove that he loves her AND DOES! This one might be heavy for some people, but it is impressive how DJ Deaf Joey honestly presents the situation…and then that weird thing happened. CREEPTOBER BAY BAY!

Here it is. I love his hair.

A classicK.

Episode 104: The Family

Creeptober rolls (a big ass hogs leg) onward as Bob and Angela take a look behind one of many aspects of political power and corruption. This one might be more insidious than most as it prides secrecy over accountability and cloaks itself in religious “humility”. Enlightening to some degree, but not exactly shocking. We take inventory of the organization within this Netflix documentary series called “The Family” by Jesse Moss. Jesus evoking politicians who condemn actions of any outside of their circles, but give a free pass to any who bow and scrape within. Jesus loves the sheep but who’s gonna love the wolf? I think maybe the answer should be “Jesus loves the wolf, but condemns the actions”, but we all know Washington is where hopes and dreams go to die and misspend our tax dollars on mass murder half a world away. Meanwhile, bridges are crumbling. But I guess God made bridges crumble for a reason. If God wanted to fix bridges he’d fix them. I think I get it now. I’m on The Family’s side. Praise Mammon…uh…I mean…God. The Family’s personal Bible leaves out the verses where Jesus gets pissed at the money changers. Keep on Flippin’ Tables, Jesus. Please please please flip these tables, Jesus.

“The Family” Trailer.

Hey, they got a wiki page! Guess they fucked up being “secret”. Hell, this podcast is more secret than they are.

Don’t bother wasting money on a Theology degree. Just read this, bruh.