Last week, Angela had a shitty attitude and insisted on picking so-called “actual short documentaries” for the rest of the year’s “Shorties”. What does she hit us with? A little piece of joy from Scotland that will make you want to slit your wrists. Vertically, not horizontally. Angela picked “Christmas With Dad” by Conor McCormack because I guess December isn’t depressing enough? Admittedly refreshing in it’s representation of Christmas-time poverty without that bullshit “Hallmark” filter. This stepdad has three kids with this lady. The other five are not his. The oldest is only 8 years younger. The other 4 that aren’t his hopes he doesn’t leave. An endless spiral in any accent or language. Thanks, Angela.
Hail you, Doccalo! Tis the season….for SATAN! Three weeks out from Christmas, what more perfect topic to cover than the goings on of the modern Satanic Temple. Wherever religion inserts itself onto state and federal ground, they will be there with a wicked statue of the horned god Baphomet. Also there’s nudity, and wine choking, and lots a lots of circular sunglasses. Ginger and Bob discuss the Penny Lane directed documentary “Hail Satan?” And you can find it on Hulu. Seriously though, can we talk about the rampant usage of circular sunglasses amongst the goth crowd? The only worse kind of sunglasses are probably those wraparound shades that you see rednecks wear. Seriously, they seem like good folks doing good things but their sunglasses game is REVERSE FLEEK. Bob can’t wear circular sunglasses. It looks like you put shades on a potato. Anyway….Satan. The adversary. The political movement. The penises. The outrage. Merry Gingmas. Keep on Doccin’
We forgot to cite it in our intro, but we fade out on this song.
To open up our December “Shorties” Bob and Angela discuss a recent viral sensation that surely burrowed into your heart and is now living off of your blood flow like a parasite. A parasite you will probably name and cherish. A parasite called “Kidz Bop Karen”. Karen has a special brand loyalty when it comes to child-friendly music choices. Loyalty so intense that road-rage can’t even stop her will to promote. They can’t hear you, bitch ass hoe. This episode is sponsored by Kidz Bop. Also…Angela’s attitude in this episode sucks dick.
Go here so that your kids can’t hear you calling her bitch.
Forget that dick sucking attitude, listen to Kidz Bop.
Hello, you. The Doccalo. A title bestowed upon anyone who happens to listen to this podcast. Even if you listen to two minutes of it and decide you hate it, you’re still a Doccalo. Forever. Eldridge and Bob unite to discuss a strange documentary about a comedian/magician that came out earlier this year. Layers of paranoia in this one as the director, Ben Berman, starts to feel like he’s being jerked around (and not in a good way) by the terminally ill comedian in the Hulu original documentary called “The Amazing Jonathan Documentary”. Layers of deceit or just paranoia? Maybe both? Fuck we don’t know. If you smoke meth while you watch this documentary, email us and let us know. Make meth cool again and Keep on Doccin’
Oh, shit! Is that OG fuck boi Harry Anderson?
We hope your Thanksgiving went smoothly and undramatically. Let us ruin everything with one of the saddest things we have ever watched. For this special “Black Friday” edition of Shorties we bring back Jonni to revisit the realms of creepy like we did last month and lay this on your face to show you that any holiday can be a creepshow. If you haven’t seen or heard the “We Are Walmart” chant video, then please allow us to wither a portion of your spirit away. Jonni and Bob get saucy as fuck in this Shorties episode.
Personally, I (Herman, the guy who writes the episode descriptions) don’t care for all this socialist claptrap. I think Jeff Besos would be the best president. I love Amazon Prime. These hypocrites watch documentaries on Prime all the time. You should see Bob in the basement watching “Man in the High Castle” all alone. Crying. He thinks he’s being sneaky with his masturbation time down there, but we know. Everybody knows.
Happy Thanksgiving, Doccalo! Bob and Jonni hit up the Thanksgiving week documentary this year. Thanksgiving is a holiday they both enjoy and the happiest Bob is until the new year. It’s not a pure Thanksgiving documentary, but it is featured nicely within. An all American documentary about a once gutted factory in Dayton, Ohio that is being filled by a Chinese company called “Fuyao”. It’s giving some hope to the citizens of this economically troubled town. Hope that is dashed very quickly into the reality of mundane wage mediocrity. Turns out North American Labor activism and Chinese “Communism” is not quite the same thing. No matter what corporate news media tells you. Bob and Jonni watched Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert’s Netflix documentary “American Factory”. The Thanksgiving that is featured in this documentary features motorcycles and guns being held giddily by Chinese laborers. A normal Thanksgiving from the context of Bob’s childhood. We hope you have a pleasant Turkey Day. Pass the gravy and Keep on Doccin’
Oh, Shit. Pay up you taskmasters!
We sadly close out the last of the “Weber Cooks” series with Chef Stephen Reed for today’s Shorty. Thanksgiving is next week, so this weekend we’re going to make a food everyone loves…MICROWAVED SPAGHETTI. Felicia and Bob take one last jump into the culinary journey that is Chef Steven Reed and his microwave to discuss, “Weber Cooks Spaghetti”. How does this spaghetti hold up the the old country? I bet you could guess how. Goodbye Chef Steven Reed. I hope the show note links below don’t disappoint us now that we’ve learned to love you. Happy Thanksgiving. Keep on Doccin’
OH SHIT! NOOOOOO
I love you, Doccalo. I love you so do everything I tell you. 1) subscribe to this podcast 2) recommend this podcast 3) listen to this podcast and 4) LIVE! LIVE FOREVER! Angela and Bob hit up a “True Crime” documentary and revisit the director Erin Lee Carr who you might remember directed “Mommy Dead and Dearest” which we covered waaaaaaaaaaay back early in the bad audio era of the show. A severely depressed young man by the name of Conrad Roy III was found to have taken his own life in his truck outside of a K-Mart. Police later discovered an intense exchange of thousands of text with a girl named Michelle Carter. Suddenly, she is charged with a crime. We’re shooting the shit on the 2-part docuseries “I Love You, Now Die”. Did eyebrows really talk Conrad into taking his own life, or was Conrad just fulfilling a destiny he had long set out for himself? If someone told you to jump off of the Fish Island bridge and you did it, is that person is responsible? Also…what does that lady in the Patriots windbreaker think about it? You can watch this jazz on HBO. You probably have your aunt’s password. Use it. Then get your docs off. Then Keep on Doccin’
Taunton. It’s wicked.
Chef Steven Reed is struttin’ from his viral fame. Now he tests us with a dish we hope you don’t insist that we try. Two great American veggies: corn and potatoes. How does Steven throw down with this and a microwave? Behold the heat immunity of his mighty hands. Felicia and Bob break down “Weber Cooks Creamed Corn and Potatoes” and there’s no sign of salt. But there’s plenty of what the kids call “big dick energy” going on. Keep on Doccin’
Ready to get your docs off? This week Akil and Bob sit down with a Netflix doc featuring a successful comedian who wants to get down to the very core of what she is…privileged. Chelsea Handler stars and Alex Stapleton directs the documentary “Hello, Privilege. It’s Me, Chelsea”. A documentary about white privilege through a Chelsea Handler filter.” The reactions to this film seem to vary. Plenty of talk on society and politics in this episode. Bob and Akil were surprised at their own opinions on the film. Not unlike the surprise Kevin Hart felt when Chelsea asked him if anyone died inside of him. Has anyone ever died inside of you? If so call (202) 224-2541 and give extensive details to any voicemail or person that picks up the phone. From Orange County, California to Antioch, Tennessee to the guiltiest of white privilege pleasures…Oktoberfest. How does the author of “Uganda Be Kidding Me” cope with the white privilege flashlight in her face? You might have already written a blog post about it. Watch this on Netflix. Get it. Keep on Doccin’