Episode 100: My Best Fiend

WOW! We (and you) just can’t believe it actually happened! The Documenteers managed to make it to 100 episodes. All those hours and hours and hours of….this. 100 documentaries. Months worth of editing time spent. Friendships shook. Relationships strained. All of that processed to this very point. Stuart and Bob discuss Werner Herzog’s biographical documentary “My Best Fiend”. A film about Werner’s turmoiled times with the notorious German actor Klaus Kinski. Stuart and Bob hosted episode 1 of the Documenteers. Perfect that they come together for episode 100 to discuss a film about a turmoiled friendship full of bickering, lies, and a smidgen of violence. You can watch “My Best Fiend” for freebies over at tubitv.com .

A big special thing for this episode is that it is full of TOTALLY REAL CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS! We run the gamut of famous folks in this one! Authors! Actors! Comedians! Musicians! Politicians! Billionaires! We trot out all the hot shit for this episode. Also, this might be Stuart’s last episode. He wouldn’t speak of it on mic. He would probably deny it if you spoke to him directly about it. Stuart demanded the show start reviewing porn. He put his foot down and said it was either “Me and Porn” or “No-Porn and No-me”. Maybe someday we can patch this up, but probably not until Stuart seeks help with his porn addiction.

But it’s ok. We got celebrities. We got flashbacks. We got some lost bits that you’ve never heard before. We got an extra sized end bumper. And finally, we have the name of the actor who played “Marie” in “Woyzeck”. Her name is Eva Mattes and we apologize for not remembering your name Eva. Your performance was fantastic.

Also, Bob doesn’t write these episode descriptions. It’s me…Herman. I can’t believe this bullshit podcast has lasted this long and I’m embarrassed for everyone involved and embarrassed for anyone who listened to 2 seconds of this. I should do the world a favor and set this studio on fire. Nobody ever reads these so who gives a shit. I’ve jizzed in Bob’s grits multiple times. He always gets seconds. He will never read this and find out because he’s a giant narcissist with his head up his ass. I do think we should review porn, though. I’m with Stuart on this one.

Whatever. Keep on Doccin’

Here’s the trailer to this fuckin’ movie.

Here’s the damn movie, actually.

Here’s the 2nd half of the damn movie.

Here’s a thing.

Give 5 stars and a review or your face will fall off and we’ll die.

Episode 99: Burden of Dreams

Welcome, Doccalos to the 99th episode of the Documenteers. This week we hit up a Herzog Month documentary that Werner didn’t direct. Les Blank returns with co-director Maureen Gosling to make the documentary “Burden of Dreams”. The story of the Werner Herzog feature film “Fitzcarraldo” is about a would-be rubber tree baron who does whatever it takes to do the seemingly impossible task of dragging a steamship through a jungle. The documentary “Burden of Dreams” is about Werner Herzog doing whatever it takes to do the seemingly impossible task of completing “Fitzcarraldo”. Including dragging a steamship through a jungle. Eldridge and Bob go all over Peru with Werner and the gang to discuss the troubles and ramifications of a weird German man amongst indigenous Peruvians.
Oh, and also a stank-faced Klaus Kinski is wandering around and there’s yuca booze made with human spit. There’s also threats, attempted homicide, and a world made of murder and fornication. Even the stars are a mess. But Werner will do whatever it takes. So will we. We will step up and drink the yuca spit liquor. Keep on Horkin’.

“Burden of Dreams” trailer.

“Fitzcarraldo” trailer.

Hol deinen Partyhut raus und schüttel deinen Arsch.

Ooh! A listicle! ROFLMAO.

Whoa…hot takes machine.

Shorties 32: The Herakles

Hey ho, Doccalo! It’s our second annual Herzog month, but our first year of Herzog month Shorties! We open up the Werner Shorties with his earliest know film. The first artistic attempt of a barely legal Werner Herzog was a little short film called “The Herakles”. It’s full of yolked German muscle hunks and a variety of other, destructive, images. Will these hunks save us from the machines? Werner wants to know and Bob and Ginger want to know as well. SAVE US, HUNKS! SAVE US!

Werner’s first film “The Herakles”.

Werner discusses this.

Kraftwerk song of the week.

Episode 98: Grizzly Man

Here we go, Doccalo! The second annual Herzog month officially begins and we hit Akil with his first ever Werner Herzog documentary and it’s one of his most prolific. Timothy Treadwell loves bears. I mean reeeaaaalllllyyyy loves bears. So much that he spent years on the Alaska peninsula hanging around bears and befriending foxes in order to protect them from poachers that don’t seem to come around. Unfortunately Timothy and his companion Amy, would find their end by a bear attack when they stayed a little too far into the autumn one year. Bob and Akil discuss the one and only “Grizzly Man” and we may or may not have struck that fine balance between humor and tragedy. We go a little hard on this documentary that can be quite difficult in moments. You gotta give this to Timothy…he was one of a kind. Depending on the situation, that might not be a good thing. His actions maybe had more consequences than he realized at the time and many folk have different ideas about it. Let’s dive into this mess. Keep on leaving Grizzly bears alone.

The trailer.

Timothy on Letterman.

LEARN HERE PLZ.

Shorties 31: Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe

Here we go, Doccalo. The Herzog month pre-show is here and Bob and Angela discuss what can be considered “extra content” for their Gates of Heaven discussion earlier this week. Werner Herzog bet Errol Morris that he would eat his shoe if Errol completed his first film. Errol accomplished that task to critical acclaim so Les Blank brought a camera to document Werner keeping up his end of the bargain. This short doc is true motivation for the arts, and we’re not talking about some bullshit hallmark meme instagram motivational baloney. What goes well with shoe? Should you steal for your art? Does Werner slurp his shoelace like sketti? Didn’t Chaplain eat a shoe? Don’t be afraid to listen. Werner hates cowards. Let Herzog month begin!

Here’s a Spanish subtitled version with bad audio on Dailymotion.

Peep this knowledge.

Episode 97: Gate of Heaven

Yo, Doccalo. After over a year and a half of the greatest documentary themed podcast in the universe, we FINALLY get to an Errol Morris film. It just so happens to be the one that started Errol onto the path that we all know. Angela and Bob pave the road on the way to Herzog month by watching the Errol Morris classic “Gates of Heaven”. Because it exists, Werner Herzog had to eat his shoe. More on that later. Let’s go into this geriatric culture of the pet cemetery business. All the love and heartache and gossip and motivational speeches and sick-ass guitar jams overlooking quaint patches of beloved pets laid to rest that your over-fed heart can handle. Angela has had this on her mind for a long time and now her pet-lovin’ ass gets to discuss it and cry. Watch out for “Fondling” and “Three-Way Explosions”. Old folks are funny…and sad. Keep on Doccin’.

Oh shit! Here’s the whole flick! Sweet! 

Werner Herzog eats His Shoe. This will come up later.

Here’s that Ramones song

Learn what the old man was talking about.

Episode 96: 30 for 30: Straight Outta L.A.

STRAIGHT OUTTA PODCAST! Welcome to the Documenteers podcast and we are up in your face with our most musical 30 for 30, yet. During the Raiders NFL team’s 13 year run in Los Angeles, a burgeoning new rap style was becoming representative of crookedness and corruption of the city. It doesn’t hurt that Raiders gear is black and happens to go with everything. Bob and Drew hit up Ice Cube’s contribution to the ESPN 30 for 30 series with “Straight Outta L.A.”. It’s a cavalcade of 80s California Football and Gangsta Rap alumni. Bob and Drew desperately wanted to look mad fresh in the Starter Jacket era. Imagine Bob in a bright orange University of Tennessee Starter Jacket pullover. Imagine Drew wearing an Orlando Magic Shaq jersey with no shirt on underneath. It was hard in those streets. I mean literally. Streets are made of a very hard material. Keep on Doccin’.

Here’s the trailer.

Here’s David Bowie grilling early MTV.

A classic video.

Here’s Drew’s sports talk radio show.

Learn something.

Episode 95: The Image Revolution

Yo Doccalo! Call Bob a Giving Tree because he continues to give back to the little people. Akil got to pick, especially after that episode of Bill Murray docs we did, and he picked some hot nerd shit. A story of our childhood. Back to an era that might have been the first time that a pack of comic dorks were considered cool. Now nerd bullshit is everywhere, but this nerd bullshit was EDGY, bro! An era completely inaccessible to women. For good reason. It’s the story of a comic book company that isn’t the first two comic book companies you think of. Akil and Bob watched Patrick Meaney’s “The Image Revolution”. Seven comic artists that made Marvel a lot of money decided to bail and start a company that consisted of a collection of seven independent publishing companies. Mostly bad comics, Drama, Mistakes, and an evolution into some of the best comics on the shelves today. Bob and Akil actually know waaaaay too much about this. I think this can be found on Prime or Tubi. Keep on Doccin’.

Here’s the trailer. Not a woman in sight. 

Here’s that Rob Liefeld commercial with Spike Lee.

Learn something.

Shorties 30: George Dillman: Phony Karate Master

HAI-CHA, Doccalo! Are you ready to feel the force of NOTHING?! Eldridge and Bob end their “Shorties” cringe-trip with a visit to a fellow by the name of George Dillman. George has a 9th degree black belt in Karate braggery. George can use “Chi” like a weapon. He claims he can put you on your back without touching you. He can move Starbucks lines with Chi. He can grope just about anybody with a hot hand full of Chi. National Geographic’s 125 pound skeptic has been sent in to test if his head can be exploded with Chi. Yeah, this is a clip of a National Geographic show. We will do an actual short documentary next week, ok? STOP SCREAMING AT US! Bob and Eldridge will now lay out the ugly truth. Is Chi punching real? Chi deez nuts if it’s so real. Keep on saying things you shouldn’t say on camera. Chi wisely.

Here’s ol’ George “Chi Grope” Dillman.

Here’s that thing we talked about in the episode.

Here’s that “Babes in Toyland” style we were talking about.

Oh Shit…Courtney Love WAS briefly a member of Babes in Toyland.